I like it my way

There are things in this world that cannot be controlled. There are people in this world who try to control everything. There are occasions where these people and these things meet. The axiom is that when an irresistible force meets an immoveable object, total destruct of both is the result.

I’m not a planner. I do not like planning things. I prefer to see where the road leads and wander along the path to the end, but there are times when planning is needed. So when I have to make plans, I like the course of action to go according to plan. When something prevents my plan from reaching fruition, it stresses me. Really bad.

I try to rise above the stress. I am constantly reminded that I need to pick my battles, but in picking the battle, you are conceding defeat. Who likes to do that? Surely not me. I like getting my way. I really do. I’m kind of addicted to it; and I’m good at it. Oh, sure, it has come back to bite me later, but in the end, I’m ok. So, how should I deal with it when I not only do not get my way, but get the exact opposite of what I had planned?

In any interaction with another person, there is a natural give and take. Someone wants something, whether that something is a thing or an idea, or a bit of knowledge. Someone is giving up something, and someone is getting something. Every relationship, every marriage, every office, every friendship has this dynamic in play, and at the core, it comes down to who has the power. What most people don’t get—in fact they get it wrong—is that one person does not always have the power. In a healthy relationship, that power shifts back and forth.

In a work environment, however, that power can tend to be one-sided. Of course, that goes with the territory. The whole Boss/employee dynamic is precipitated on the one-sided paradigm. Co-workers, on the other hand, are a different matter. When in the course of daily work, we interact with others in the office, we have to give and take depending on the task at hand. But some people assume that, by virtue of their position, they are more important than others. Not executives, mind you. They are more important than others. I’m referring to those individuals who may work directly for executives.

So when the power is assumed by one person who refuses to relinquish it, the workplace suffers; the home life suffers and the peace of mind suffers. Regaining equilibrium gets more difficult the longer the power stays static. The only way peace can be restored is when the one hoarding the power relinquishes it; learns to let go and let the other take control.

I can do that. I know I can. I have in the past (at least I think I have) and I will when needed, I am sure. Just not in matters where I have to make plans. When I make plans, they have to be done the way I plan them. If they are not, then how can I anticipate the outcome? If I plan an outcome based on following certain steps, and those steps are altered, then the outcome is no longer set. This is my biggest frustration.

I just need to relax and let it go. If I can’t have it my way, then so be it. I have to pick my battles. I have to stop being the immoveable object and the irresistible force. Who want total annihilation?



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